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Humor Cats

Humor Cats

Humor Cats
Dear friends!
Being depressed is impossible.
And we "Humor Cats"
Ready to entertain you !!!
We are glad to see at a party.
Here talents grow!
We - the Union of poets,
Close friendly ties!

Michal Sanycha
and Victoria Fayvush

Let us entertain you
Joke and laugh!
If I should say,
Simply take write
A small quibble,
But the reviews chur ...

In the garden it is necessary to heat
Humor Cats
Suddenly, I come autumn,
And a strong wind blowing in the back.
-And In the garden, my baby, drowned? -
to the question I addressed to her son.

No, we do not drown, mother,
but only "somehow" put in a corner.
Ah how not drown? very strange!
I will write about it in Google

Julius and Julia
Humor Cats
Julius Caesar everything he could,
I did a lot of things at once,
I try to emulate,
but I never have time.

I took the dishes to wash,
at this time it is necessary to sew,
and another child to nurse,
and dinner to cook means.

For dishes no soap,
burnt in a plate lunch,
and the child playfully jumps,
stole a chocolate bar, hamster!

Dinner time arrived,
everything is like standing,
I'm tired, tears pour,
all worth it and I stand!


A girl and a gun
Humor Cats
The girl found the gun in the sandbox.
With this gun went to the police.
- Uncle policeman, whether your gun?
- I, baby, do not have a gun.
On the high road, right on the station,
I am your weapon where it lost.
So you do not whimper, and go home,
It is definitely not my gun ...

Papin Mouse
Humor Cats
That is one year old baby,
His first life makes sharing,
She likes the iPhone and mouse
Give dad wants to return
Let play with the mouse Dad
I befriended them with the mouse,
Let shakes her friendly paw
And I'll sit with iPhones

Ah yes doll !!!
Humor Cats
I sent a doll shop.
And she brought a little!

At breakfast, a plastic porridge -
Our usual appetizer

By lunchtime, fruit wax,
And where have you seen the others?

For dinner, a handful of nails,
That's liking it.

Now, of course, and a hedgehog,
What I'm hungry ...

April First

April First
Humor Cats
Hello April 1
No longer believe
It is necessary to grind the small stuff
And passers-chop !!!

Genius and crazy
Humor Cats
If you have at work
If you are hunting friends
There are lovely wife
And it pleased all
If rushing funny verse
That you're a genius and not crazy

If you are full of doubts
There is no work no money
If the wife left
And we reached the bottom of life
So without all doubt
A psychopath is not a genius and you

Humor Cats
The government has given me a new chance
I cursed laughed not fornication
And I slept the night, and my sleep was - ecstasy
After all, I did not translate arrows

Then one day I will consider the kooky
Make it all the arrows screwed
But sleep better when it comes to sleep
The arrow at night transfer

Humor Cats
Girlfriend very strict critic
The stigma of left and right,
One for her terrible whiner
And this just for fun.
Then the image is very messy,
It is not clear whose it is,
Often he says that is not bad,
And then you ask to burn.
Well, the poet breathe again,
Kiss to his chest his notebook,
Do not say obscene words,
And suddenly put Critic five?

Humor Cats
If the buggy calendar
Fist to hit him!
He is angry, and behold,
Daily - New Year

If the buggy piano
Bite off from her frame,
Then curfew
Sounds from all directions

If the toilet is buggy,
Not obscene phrases.
It must be very fast
Clean the expert

Well, if by anguish
You zaglyuchil brains
That such a cheerful authors
Do not help psychiatrists!

Humor Cats
I had a quarrel with her beloved
I hear screams, noise and swearing.
"Nuka quickly calm down,
me, please, leave me alone! "

Cute angry and can not hear
and do not let up.
I commanded, "poetry!"
Stagnation and surprised.

"I do not understand what kind of joke?
Now I read the poems? "
"Listen, verse - is a verb,
Do, dear, do not understand? "

Long bellow - in this verse.
Finally, the cute verse.

Secret chemist
Humor Cats
To exorcise the devil
And get rid of the dross
Not only will the tank
It is necessary to personally drive the vodka

Once thought up drinking wine
Take care of the big thousand
It is better to do it yourself Vinišće
After all, it is useful

The coil provides drops
If there is a pocket cents
We find ingredients
And he concocted a cocktail

Maybe you're a whale -
Cook even vermouth -
So do not waste time
Do your own nishtyak

If you are at all is much
And how much does not lazy
Himself Navara beer
Will - the taste and color - ecstasy

Finally, the Board of
Someone will tell me thank you
So I think - or - or
The darkness around - and knowledge of the world

Why give?
Humor Cats
Canara not - get drunk vodka!
And the cottage is also not necessary.
Suffice it five times Sotq
And weaving in the field is not important.

No music - take guitar
Or greasy accordion.
And pokrichim and pogutarim
About his battered pocket.

No car, no motorbike,
Not upset for no reason!
Establish your bike.
The same wheel train such tires.

And so, quite extemporaneously:
We, too, will the wheel.
Why give up something,
When we are living in poverty?

Humor Cats
Smiles, toast, kisses,
Flow friendship over the edge.
Purposely faced in a corner
Elena Vasya chance!
"Corporate" is already in full swing,
Fun no further appease,
But it is important to remember in the finale,
Photo of the "pass the soap!"

Unsuccessful cleaning
Humor Cats
Good girl named Ira,
Once I decided to clean the whole apartment.

A broom and a rag in hand picked,
Heavily sighing start washing the floor.

Suddenly, among the vases and bouquets of flowers,
He sees a magazine article about cats.

Only upyalilas nose in a magazine,
Lo and behold - darkened and the evening came.

It would be better not to clean the apartment,
Good girl named Ira!

Humor Cats
I sit on the clave bot.
The Internet silence.
"Something quiet Skype works"
Surprised wife.
I sit on the clave bot.
Not enough to know it,
Alfonso I work.
As it sleep?

Love can not be free
Humor Cats
He gave his girlfriend
I have all the stars at your leisure,
and she turns back nos-
He is waiting to roses I brought.

Composed a poem,
immediately raised doubts,
He says: "What is love?
To prepare the wedding ring!

And perhaps buy me
fox fur coat in November
And I want a car,
Show me who is who. "

I was confused I sit,
purse longingly stare,
it is difficult to be precious,
and will have to pay!

Golden Dance
Humor Cats
I saw a fascinating sight,
from under long lashes clear eyes,
Day hurriedly approached the night,
collecting the Pleiades constellation.

Among us she stood
his proud posture,
and glittering diamonds lure
and dreams of the night without sleep.

He came breathlessly:
- I invite you to dance!
- I agree, just dance,
only the husband would be against good-bye!

Where to lunch?
Humor Cats
I am a good housewife,
On the stove is always dinner
Only once I went,
A lunch is no more.

Smiling, her husband sitting
And on her forehead "fault" lights,
Toli he was hungry,
Tolley past the soup spilled

Welcome and actions
Humor Cats
Here's what to do
Welcome? We all know
Even from an early age
What the world is governed.

And many believe
And the good forces,
And eternal life,
And love to the grave.

So do good
And pull people.
And even descendants
You will not be forgotten.

Libra fate
Measured eternity
And your heroism,
And careless actions.

But for a good cause -
Report this ten.
God loves you,
And did you - besish !!!

The taste and color
Humor Cats
They say the taste and color
Gus svinyushke not a friend.
Fifth, I decade
In this I thought convinced.

I say: "Do not argue,
Taste even so my win. "
But trying to buddy
The aftertaste convince!

Maternity army
Humor Cats
I was pregnant,
Date of birth approached.

With my husband, we came to the hospital
In five of the street on foot.

They say there is strictly us:
"What you need to so early?"

Husband of rigor confused:
"Well, the duck is born ... what would."

Led me to the House:
"Lie down here a little while."

And gone forever,
I myself gave birth to seven.

All of us serve his people
Skein will be my kid to a year
For me to have a baby,
It's like my husband to go to the army

Diet and chop
Humor Cats
I wanted to fly to lose weight quickly,
Dress the envy of all the new suit.

Cool diet in the book, I found,
It leeks, carrots, turnips and beets.

Playfully, I again took up the matter,
And this stuff eat swearing.

That carrot is rubbed, the beet,
I served with trembling to the table.

Dark night, attacking zhor,
I sneak to the fridge like a thief.

If you really want to be slim,
Beets with turnip better dig.

Do not have enemies
Humor Cats
Here in the country are fighting it!
Battle of the party and the people ...
Rich in spring
Rob beggars in full swing.

On rushing neighbor neighbor
They can not stop you.
When lit from harm,
That will take you to the cops

If you came from the taiga,
Cars crushed brain.
A pimply enemies
Again Face to you stuffed.

The solution is simple as ABC.
Do not enter into combat,
But for this first
Showed their perseverance.

Get the balance is as follows -
Do not be afraid Likhodeev.
Do not have your enemies
And you do not poimeyut.

Humor Cats
In life, everything is mixed
It is not clear who is sleeping with whom
Komersant takes girls
To carry on their Merce

Prostitute become a mother
Behind the bushes here and there
Black kids
According to flee Russia

The Argentinean TV series
All of each other's ... had
And then in Russia
Argentines naplodili

And then blow an alarm?
Go out at night on the road
Or run to the store
Do not come home alone

The truth - the system fakov
And each logical facts
And besides, I see signs
Wondering how the fool

Musical Memory
Humor Cats
It's amazing
Music is just only seven
But always varied
Musician plays all
He would have repeated notes
If I remember I played

He plays on the new
And what did forget
Indeed hourly
He always plays differently
Because the head
Impressions is full

Mother-in-law and the fly
Humor Cats
Villages mother-in-law on the bed,
gathered to die,

I followed her watch,
sadly rubbing his hands.

Suddenly the window flew fly
Relive the old woman,

I take a fly swatter,
With all the dope fly beat.

Fly dropped dead,
mother-in-law nodded sternly.

Calm down mom,
Continue your work.

Everything will not be buzzing rubbish,
and prevent you from dying.

Health and Money
Humor Cats
Angry plumber uncle Vasya
I wanted more thousands,
he got drunk with stupefaction,
and in the pockets of the wind whistling.

Here the work podfortilo,
the money will finally
and skillful master famously,
flooded the entire house, bastard.

It turned bonehead
this time, the plumber,
I saw the blue distance,
Well, denyuzhku not given.

The money is there - buy health,
have health - earn
No health - there is no money,
Why go for the hair dryer bot.

Humor Cats
I can not imagine,
change as a friend,
I can fool probably
It turns treason.

I do not walk out of malice,
in my soul spring,
and my favorite cat,
waiting for the heat - this is my sport

We men are very important,
that used to have a girlfriend every

Humor Cats
Good fellow Ilya
He looked in the morning in a tavern
Something he could not sleep
Drink probably wanted

The waiter was right there too
- What will we drink Ilyusha
And do not fool Ilyusha
Requests pour vodka
Neither sex nor stacks of glass
A bucket with a kilo
The waiter hung ears
- What we eat Ilyusha

- Enjoying my
There darling it !!!

Mother-in-law sturgeon
Humor Cats
In the store I am
I Saw "mother-sturgeon"
Typo looking for us
Amuse - Named tescheyu
As much as I do not mind it
Food to the mother-fishing
To each spring
The newly cast trolling

Second happiness
Humor Cats
Mother-in-law harmful impudent,
He drank the blood and baldeet.
I spoiled fruit compote,
and looks into the mouth.

From her get rid of power,
I have more happiness,
I would like your mother
with the father play chess!

For someone audacity to paradise
Give us the same happiness!

The four lines

Medicine friend
Humor Cats
I asked with all my heart:
- What - my friend - you treat head lice?
A friend said, laughing mleya:
- They - my angel - do not get sick!

Humor Cats
If you receive a pension
And add three rubles
That not only abroad
The whole country is now yours !!!

Unrecognized genius
Humor Cats
I am happy - unrecognized genius
What do you inexpensively
His masterpiece dimensionless
And made a contribution to the birth rate

A present
Humor Cats
We loved the birthday!
A bouquet of poems,
And a bottle of spirits,
And a box of tender words!

Doctor, how much time?
Humor Cats
Do not you remember the time and the number?
Ask psychiatrist
Oh, he must know what exactly
What the authors do not know

Humor Cats
The pool shark sick,
Have diagnosed - a nervous breakdown,
Poor sees food daily,
And clicking teeth mouth open

Funny accident
Humor Cats
What would be fun to write
It should not yawn at night!
This is a disaster
If no Cofala night !!!

Humor Cats
If you can not sleep at night
Parrot will sleep!
Teach crazy bird
Hush-scream !!!

Виктория Файвуш

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Комментарии к работе
12.07.2015     10:44:24
рейтинг автора nikos (николай)
перевел ....здорово !!

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